Using A Vibrator With Your Partner
If your partner is open to it, try using a slender vibe with a flared base to stimulate a male partner's prostate. Vary the speed, motion, and position of the vibrator to keep things interesting. As you get close to orgasm, back off to stay on the delicious edge a while longer.
In 1956 the department store Sears produced their own vibrator, which was advertised as giving you that “great-to-be-alive feeling†. Ads ran in popular magazines, Christian publications, and the New York Times, claiming that vibrators could cure everything from wrinkles to malaria. In her 1992 Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Brenda Love claimed that Cleopatra (69-30 BC) used a gourd filled with bees to stimulate her genitals, similar to a vibrator . This idea has been repeated and reprinted in many popular histories of vibrators. Historian Helen King says that there’s no evidence that this actually happened.
If you’re not sure, ask her to give you feedback while you try different kinds of strokes—circular, side-to-side, up-and-down. Don’t take it personally if she flinches—discovering what pleases is often a process of trial and error. Most women prefer to have their clitoral hood licked. This is a fold of skin that covers the actual glans of the clitoris, which is extremely sensitive. A lot of women have very sensitive clitorises, so avoid stampeding to the clitoris.
That old catalogue copy clearly dealt in euphemisms. Many women knew how the devices were really intended to be used. Vibrators can be used on the entire skin surface, and they do, indeed, provide the benefits of massage—relaxation and relief for sore muscles. That’s one way men can use them on women, as whole-body massagers. When you get into bed, ask her to lie on her belly and coach you where and how she’d like the vibrator used—on her neck, shoulders, back, and anywhere else she enjoys.
It all comes down to pleasure pathways in the brain. My lab was the first to systematically study these pathways to demonstrate how the female genitals connect to the places in the brain that register sensations. The way our nervous systems work, the more frequently we pleasurably stimulate the genitals, the more robust the sensory connection will become between them and the pleasure regions of the brain. The stronger those connections become, the more likely we will experience ease and pleasure in our sexuality. Close-up Sex PositionThe Close-up Sex Position allows the jack rabbit vibrator husband to reach over his wife and stimulate her clitoris with a bullet vibrator while in an intimate, spooning position. The Super 8 Sex Position allows the wife to stimulate her clitoris with a bullet vibrator while making love to her husband. Ladies, your husband doesn’t know what speed or motion feels good.